Moral Dilemmas…
We have all been in situations, whether in our youth or adult years, where something has happened and we felt…
If only someone stood by my side, or had my back, or, well, told me what was going on….tipped me off…gave me a heads up or warned me.
And we have been in situations finding ourselves conflicted…
Should I get involved? Should I tell them what’s going on behind their back? Should I warn them before they, or someone they love get emotionally or physically hurt? Should I stand by their side and have their back or should I….mind my own business?
Whether it’s something as silly as a rumor, or as common as back-stabbing, or as serious as cheating on a spouse, or even more conflicting as stealing…every single one of us are faced, if not daily, with the moral dilemma of WHAT TO DO.
Most fall back on the golden rule– Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
Many, no matter how close of a friend or family they are, see absolutely no reason to get involved.
Why? Because most times when you do warn or tell the other person…or if you stand by their side…it does absolutely no good. And sometimes, which is even worse, you take the blunt end of the stick because YOU were the messenger. Those who were causing the trouble in the first place, ends up being closer to the one you warned and then you are left standing on the outside….
We could all make the decision of minding our own business, but many people know that they have to be able to sleep at night. They live by the code that they must be at peace with themselves, and what they choose to do or do not do…they live by that golden rule.
Yet what do you do when you do tell or warn someone of something and supposedly they feel a lot of pain and hurt over it….yet when you turn back around, they still hang out with those who offended them?
How do those people justify to themselves and the people around them that truly have their back…when they still befriend the ones who obviously don’t?
It is those situations that have made people shut themselves off from others. And its not easy doing that, either, because somewhere, along the way, someone will accuse them of not being a TRUE friend. Someone will still try to drag them into the chaos.
Again, it is a moral dilemma that we all relive throughout our lives. We will be faced with whatever situation concerning family, friends, boyfriends, wives, and even our kids. And in the end, whatever we do, may not be right or wrong, in the large scheme of things, but as individuals, we have to survive these situations ourselves…
And at the end of the day….we have to be able to live with ourselves….don’t we?
(Art by Victoria Frances)
Excellent post. I’ve not always been the best person in the world. In my youth I saw a great number of things that weighed heavy on my conscious and often ignored the advice of a true friend. I learned the hard way that nothing ever changes and a true friend tells you the how it is even if it’s not what you particularly want to hear.
Unfortunately, I’ve lost a number of people over the years who I believed friends because I called it as I saw it. Each one broke my heart a little, but in the end I came to the realization it is their life and people sometimes never learn the true meaning of friendship. My BFF of over 25 years and I have argued, not spoken for weeks on end, survived breakups, divorces, babies being born, parents dying, and still we are glued at the hip. In the end we realized that to be a friend is–like with any relationship–about support and love, being truthful, frank and never closing our eyes to what others see when we are blind. Sometimes we need to step away.
The most revealing conversation I ever had was with my BFF after she divorced her husband of 10 years. They’ve been divorced for close to 8 years now. I never liked her husband, not from the moment they met, but she fell in love. Knowing her as I did I kept my opinions to myself and simply told him if he ever hurt her he had better never show his face in my presence again. He hated me with a passion and at every turn tried to place a wedge between us. Never worked. Afterward she was talking about how much her oldest brother and he fought and how she’d never understood. I simply said that like her brother I saw her ex for who he truly was not for the masks he wore. She ask me why I never told her how I felt. I smiled and asked her “Would you have listened?”
Her answer was “No, probably not. I had to learn for myself.”
Sometimes all you can do is watch their back and hope for the best.
November 6, 2011 at 9:58 am
Very true Mzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Fox, very true. Any new works on the horizon???? Come on, brag!
November 6, 2011 at 10:28 am
I’ve got three separate manuscripts I’m working on a paranormal thriller, a crime drama, and a vampire tale. Between drama and my inability to see worth a damn (should have new glasses in 7-10 days) I’ve been dragging my heels. The paranormal one is damn close to being finished.
Ran into Helgaleena the other day on Facebook and she wanted to know if I’d found a new home for my old works. She said it would be a shame not to get them back out there.
You’ll be the first one to know dear when I’ve got something solid.
November 7, 2011 at 2:29 pm
hi to all chscarlett.wordpress.comers this is my first post and thought i would say hello to you all –
speak soon
garry m
November 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm